I drove home from the appointment shell-shocked. At 46, I had just been told that I should never run again! It turned out that the back pain that had grown from a niggle to a whining complaint over the past twelve months was my spine letting me know that it had been invaded. Arthritis – advanced enough to be visible on a normal x-ray, – had taken up residence in my lower lumbar vertebrae (along with its companion – Spondylosis).
Pondering purpose and, more significantly, the lack of it. I am persuaded that the greatest threat to civilization today, is purposelessness. “Surely not,” you demur. “What about Islamic extremism, terrorism, human trafficking, alcoholism, addiction, greed”… the list goes on and on and on.
I propose that all these are symptoms rather than causes. They are the physical evidence of a far greater, hidden, internal malaise, affecting the entire body of mankind. And it is a malaise unto death.
Grace is like the incoming tide
Every wave new,
unique unto itself
but integrally part of a vast, seething whole.
It rolls in relentlessly
Watching “Through the Looking Glass” last weekend with my daughters, I found myself eyeball to eyeball with Humpty Dumpty in full 3D roundness. Which reminded me of a time in my life when I felt a deep connection with that hapless egg.
I have always told myself I have no right to be disappointed in someone else, as nobody owes me anything. Not that this means I have had the unique good fortune to avoid disappointment throughout my life. My seven year sojourn with infertility gave me very personal, first-hand experience of disappointment and its impact on our lives.